The Oak Forest

Anatomy Lesson

Sun, 04 May 2008 19:11:17 GMT

According to one of my students, the name of the Bubonic Plague "comes from the large pus-filled buboes that would grow in the limp nodes of those infected."

Limp nodes...classic.

Hopefully I'll find some more pearls of wisdom as I slog through the rest of the 80 papers that I have to grade by Wednesday.

* Another student told me that the "bad air" (or miasma) on which some blamed the Black Death came from the "bad air of the oil refineries." I wonder if she's from Elizabeth, NJ.

Mon, 05 Nov 2007 16:28:11 GMT

Bill's mom died Saturday night. She'd had ALS. What a terrible way to go.

Tim called me yesterday to tell me the news. Weird thing is that I'd been having the feeling I ought to send Bill a card, telling him I was sorry to hear about his mother (i.e. about her having ALS), for a couple days. I had put the card in the mail maybe an hour or so before Tim called.

Not in the least surprised...

Fri, 19 Oct 2007 02:33:25 GMT

You Are a Werewolf

You're unpredictable, moody, and downright freaky.
You seem sweet and harmless, until you snap. Then you're a total monster.
Very few people can predict if you're going to be Dr. Jekyll or Mr. Hyde.
But for you, all your transformations seem perfectly natural.

Your greatest power: Your ability to tap into nature

Your greatest weakness: Lack of self control

You play well with: Vampires

What Kind of Monster Are You?

Mon, 15 Oct 2007 21:52:57 GMT

The package I mailed to Oleg last month was returned to me today. I can't believe he never even picked it up. Bastard.

What a difference a d makes

Fri, 28 Sep 2007 00:20:10 GMT

Notice the difference:

"I took out my make-up case and powered my nose."

"I took out my make-up case and powdered my nose."

I was wondering whether her nose runs on AC or DC power. Or perhaps it's a hybrid.

4 weeks

Wed, 26 Sep 2007 22:44:09 GMT

It's been 4 weeks since I last saw Oleg, and I have no idea how much longer I'll have to wait. I have a feeling this weekend will be a bust, and then we're into October. I am trying so hard not to be impatient, but it's progressively more and more difficult.

Poor guy is absolutely swamped at work, and overwhelmed with bureaucratic stuff on top of work. I spoke with him Monday night and at 9pm, he was just leaving his office. He was heading home to make a quick dinner and do yet more work until who knows what time. At least we had a nice chat of 45 minutes or so. He may have to work this weekend, which is why he probably will not be making a trip down to Baltimore, and I probably will not be heading up to NYC. :(

Unlike with Bill, who had increasingly more work "obligations", Oleg's work is not an excuse to push me away. He admitted how frustrated he was with the time he had to put into his research and prep, and that he really does want to see me. I'm sure that he would be very happy to work half as much as he's doing and have more time for travel, visits and relaxation.

I just have to be patient. Sigh...it's not easy.

I've been busy...

Sat, 22 Sep 2007 20:16:46 GMT

Or fairly sacrilegious, depending on whether you care that I've been working on theoretically the holiest day of the Jewish calendar.

I've:

Worked on job applications
Researched schools that are hiring
Done gardening
Done laundry
Prepped for class on Monday
Worked on next term's syllabi
Caught up on student emails

I just have to remember to leave some work to do tomorrow, otherwise I'll have to figure out how to keep myself busy (i.e. not stressing over Oleg, not driving everyone crazy, not getting into trouble, etc etc etc).

A glimmer of hope?

Sat, 22 Sep 2007 14:32:08 GMT

In the throng of schools looking for medievalists, most are located in the midwest and other areas I'd rather not live, while there are only a few shining beacons, one being the school at which I'm currently teaching. However, today I discovered another, one that would allow me to return (more or less) to my beloved Boston area. It's not really in the Boston area (Norton is about 45-60 minutes south), but cutting the distance and living within a commutable distance (say, Dedham) would be eminently possible.

Oh, Boston area friends, think good thoughts for me! It worked for gower!

'Tis the Season...

Tue, 18 Sep 2007 17:35:44 GMT

For job applications.

And the first honor goes to...the University of Michigan, because their deadline is so freakin' early!

Wish me luck for a tenure track position this time round! It would be heaven not to have to revert back to adjunct teaching.

Plushenko humor

Tue, 18 Sep 2007 00:11:13 GMT

There's a reason I love figure skating...it's always so very entertaining!

A while ago, I'd seen this on tv. I thought that was good. However, last night I stumbled onto this on youtube and laughed my ass off.

Two weeks in review

Sat, 08 Sep 2007 17:07:44 GMT

Has it already been two weeks since the semester started? Hard to believe. So let's see....

Classes are off to a roaring start, and while I certainly haven't learned everyone's name yet, I've made some headway. Not bad considering I have about 125 students. The three western civ's have quite different dynamics, and I've decided that the noon class is my favorite (much as I know having favorites is BAD). They seemed to like talking about Louis XIV as a Man in Tights (Sun King portrait), and laugh at my jokes. I like them. :) My senior seminar students are a mixed bag: some I think believe they'll be able to walk all over me, since I'm new at York, while others have adopted me as their new best friend. I think they all like me, though it may be because I have usually ended class early. I am very curious to see the kind of research papers they'll churn out, particularly the ones working on ancient and medieval topics. Yes, there is one guy who's writing about the third Crusade. Score!

I have discovered that while the car very much likes the fact that I only need to be on campus three days a week, having all four classes and two office hours on one day leaves me absolutely drained. I was exhausted yesterday even before I went out for a Shabbat dinner, which didn't end until long after I'd left at 12:30 (last time I didn't get home until close to 2am). I can only imagine how tired I'll be once I start having grading to do!

One of my western civ students came up to me after class yesterday to ask if I would agree to be the faculty advisor for a new paintball club. He was so eager and earnest that I couldn't refuse. So, I am now a faculty advisor. Weird. I suppose it had to happen sooner or later. I know that there's another club that'll be wanting me to be a co-advisor for their club, but it's more of a history club, so I'm actually invested in that.

Tomorrow, sometime, I'm heading up to Philly to visit family. Since my grandfather is visiting out here for a few weeks, I'd be downright stupid not to make the effort to see him. After all, how frequently do I get the chance to fly out to CA to see him there?

I'm still very very dorky over Oleg. He's been in NYC for a week now, and I really miss him. He's going nuts with his new research position, and by Wednesday, when we last spoke, he still hadn't had a chance to settle in very well (largely the fault of, as he called her, the "stupid secretary"). I hope he'll be able to before long. I'm sending him some baked goods for Rosh Hashanah, and I hope that soon I'll be heading up there for a visit. I would hate to think that just as this really showed some strong long-term potential, the distance spoiled things. Though, it's not really that much distance...not when compared with Toronto to NJ! And, while going duh is frustrating (to say the least), it's so nice to have someone I can be extremely dorky over again...it's been such a long time since the last one.

Otherwise, not much. My left arm is all purple and nasty looking because while getting blood taken for some tests earlier this week, the idiot tech poked the needle all the way through my vein. My arm hurts, but it looks far worse than it feels. I guess I could make up some exciting sc-fi-esque explanation for the big ugly bruise, but I'm not feeling particularly creative today. Perhaps tomorrow.

Though I am not really an opera fan...

Thu, 06 Sep 2007 14:13:27 GMT

I can recognize greatness and mourn the passing of incredible talent.

And thus the great Luciano Pavarotti leaves this earth.

He's gone

Sat, 01 Sep 2007 18:10:38 GMT

Sad Christmas.

Yesterday was rough.

Sat, 25 Aug 2007 14:23:28 GMT

Happy Birthday zvalium!!!!

May this be a wonderful year for you!

Help?

Fri, 24 Aug 2007 21:28:29 GMT

I have been given a choice of three companies for my retirement 403(b) (aka tax-sheltered annuity) fund. I know absolutely nothing about any of them, except that I've heard of TIAA-CREF before. The choices are TIAA-CREF, T. Rowe Price, and Scudder.

So, here are my questions....

1) Has anyone used any of these companies?
2) Are there any things I ought to know about any of them that would help my choice?
3) Has anyone actually had to choose from between these companies, and if so, how did you choose (i.e. why did you choose one over the others)?

ANY help would be GREATLY appreciated. Thanks!!!

Tue, 21 Aug 2007 20:22:44 GMT

OK, how bad (i.e. unprofessional) would it look to use the term "pumps your nads" on a syllabus?

My excuse for any ditziness....

Sat, 11 Aug 2007 13:05:34 GMT

I found a blonde hair today. An extremely blonde hair.

Sat, 04 Aug 2007 17:34:14 GMT

Just found out that my department will be conducting a tenure-track search for the position I have this coming year rather than the following year as originally scheduled.

That means my contract will not be extended for a second year. It could mean that after this year I will finally obtain that coveted tenure-track position, but there's absolutely no guarantee that I will be successful with this particular job.

I think I actually would have preferred a 2-year contract...there's some security and comfort. Now the situation is risky again. Especially with PGT at NYU for probably 2 years rather than one.

Update

Mon, 23 Jul 2007 20:26:31 GMT

Been a while since I posted. Life and what-not (and generally a lack of anything meaningful to write) have stood in the way.

I'm all moved in, though there are still things to do, like finding those last pieces of furniture I need, getting some window coverings to add color to some fairly monochromatic rooms, and hanging the rest of the art. I was thinking about heading out to the fabric store today, but couldn't muster the energy to face traffic on York Rd. Ah well, perhaps I'll swing by there tomorrow. At least everything's unpacked, more or less put away, and the boxes are stored neatly out of sight in the garage. I'll be happier once all the decorating is completely finished, but for now, I'm quite pleased with the way it's turned out. The next major purchases will be flowers and such for the backyard...but those are fun purchases.

I schlepped up to NJ and back yesterday for a very quick, 2-3 hour visit with my brother and his clan (no understatement: he's got 5 kids). While it is nice to spend time with my nephews and new niece, day-tripping it is not something I want to do again. I was absolutely exhaused after driving nearly 400 miles RT, and in some ways, I don't feel like my efforts were completely appreciated. For example, although I had explained to my brother that in order to have a more liesurely, lengthy visit, I'd have to bring my dog along, as I couldn't leave her in her crate for more than about 9 hours, he opted for the shorter visit but then seemed almost resentful when I told him I had to leave. I barely saw my oldest nephew, who breezed in and left nearly as quickly to go play with friends, without so much as a hello. My brother's wife too seemed somewhat standoff-ish, but unfortunately that is not too unusual for her. And there was a really stupid episode at the very end of my visit that prevented me from having a proper goodbye. All in all, not the most fulfilling visit, but at high physical cost.

Parents are coming sometime tomorrow for a week-long visit. Stay posted. It has the possibility of being an absolutely amazing week, or one after which I'll need a vacation. Why? The kicker is that they're staying with me, rather than at a hotel, which is a first.

Oh, and the potential guy thing seems not to have panned out...at least for the time being. I'll know more when he's no longer an indentured servant for his postdoc supervisor.

EDIT (11 pm): Potential guy thing called me, so all is cool. Still indentured servant (he's actually heading back to the lab to work tonight!), but looking forward to life after servitude...and promised to call me. :)

Moved in....

Fri, 13 Jul 2007 02:48:54 GMT

Mostly. There are still boxes to be unpacked, art to be put on the walls, but I think it looks amazingly settled for only two days of moving in. Course, I have yet to go grocery shopping....

Moving day (Tuesday) turned out to be the hottest, most humid day I think we've had thus far this summer. I felt really badly for the movers, but gave them a hefty tip as compensation. And the boon was that they worked as quickly and efficiently as possible so they could get out of the heat. Ergo, they finished faster than they probably would have if the weather were nicer. Go figure. I had all my stuff in my new place by 2:00. I thought it might take until at least 4:00. The only problem was that my desk didn't fit up the staircase (I was leary anyway), so it's now sitting in the garage until I can figure out how to get rid of it. A desk that is not in my office is of no use to me, and I have a new desk (that will fit) on its way.

I still have to go back to the apartment and clean (and spackle some nail holes) before I turn in the keys on the 21st. I've got time.

Thankfully Moira has taken to the new place very well. She now has three bathroom floors on which to sleep...she likes having options. She's discovered the yard, plus the frustration of not being able to get at dogs that walk past the fence. We have yet to stroll around the neighborhood, though, which I know she's dying to do. As am I. There's a dog park around here somewhere, and I'm damned well going to find it!

It's been an expensive move. Not the movers, since York College is picking up the tab for that, but other acquisitions I've felt I've needed or been justified to make. Such as the new bed and mattresses. And the new desk. And another bookcase. And more towels and accessories to outfit two additional bathrooms. And the ladder. Mustn't forget that ladder.

But...I have a real spare bedroom with a bed, not a futon, so if anyone needs crash space in the Baltimore area (or just feels like visiting!), give me a jingle. :)

Last painting day

Sun, 08 Jul 2007 11:07:59 GMT

This morning I must bite the bullet and buy an 8' ladder. Lowe's doesn't open until 8:00, so until then I'm just waiting around. I suppose I could head over to Dunkin' Donuts for coffee though, right?

Then over to the townhouse to finish painting. Yesterday I put the second coat of paint on in the living room, and painted most of the master bedroom. I was dead tired by the time I left, but felt accomplished. Today I have to do touch-ups downstairs, and finish the three bedrooms. As all have cathedral ceilings, I'll have to mask around the ceiling and paint all the areas I couldn't reach with my step-stool. Hence, the 8' ladder...

I hope I have enough time to take all the tape off and replace the outlet covers today so everything will be absolutely finished by the time the movers put my things into the rooms on Tuesday.

It will be so nice not to wear paint-splattered clothes again....

Bad combination

Sat, 07 Jul 2007 00:46:37 GMT

I'm bored.

And tired.

So...I want to go out and do something...but I lack the energy.

This sucks.

Tue, 03 Jul 2007 02:16:00 GMT

Today was productive, with both good and bad results. The Good: it took me forever, but managed to finish priming and painting my new living room (approx. 19' x 18'). The Bad: I have a feeling I'll have to put a second coat of paint on. However, the color looks great, and so much better than the dark, somber colors that were there before. I like my landlords, but I do not generally share their decorating tastes. As I said, it took a long time to paint today. While painting, I couldn't help but recall what faireraven told me last night. While attempting to call me, she accidentally called me at my old number, i.e. the phone number I had shared with Bill. Bill answered (and was probably really really confused about getting a call for me), and they chatted for a short bit. Apparently Bill's mom has ALS, and the doctors have given her only a few more months. She was diagnosed after I'd already moved out so I never knew. I am very sorry to hear this, and yet, I can't muster any more emotion than that. Bill's life simply does not affect me anymore. While I am sorry for him and for the family issues I know will be caused by this, there is nothing more. Rather a liberating realization, actually.

I expect to be at my townhouse painting for most days (tomorrow and the 4th excepted) until my moving day on the 10th. I still have three bedrooms and the master bath, all with cathedral ceilings. I see much muscle soreness and fatigue in my future. If anyone would like to volunteer to help paint, or to provide backrubs and foot massages, I'm game.

Guilty Pleasure

Fri, 22 Jun 2007 01:40:51 GMT

Tonight the film "The Last Unicorn" was on tv. Not a huge deal, really, since I own it on VHS. I love the movie, for all its little-girl-cheesiness. Particularly the intro credits where they animate the "Unicorn at the Fountain" panel from the Cloisters' unicorn tapestries. LOVE that part.

80's Child Meme

Sun, 17 Jun 2007 23:48:38 GMT

Courtesy of greenlily

Bold the ones that apply. My comments in italics.

"Alternative" music actually was...and not popular Top 40 tunes.

"Ca-vey Wa-vey!" means anything to you.

"Celebration" by Kool & the Gang was one of the hot new songs when you first heard it at a school dance

"Poltergeist" totally freaked you out.

(Girls) You owned a pair of Pixie Boots, generally worn with leg warmers.

At one point during your teenage years, you walked with a noticeable tilt to one side due to the number of plastic rings on that arm.

Atari, IntelliVision, TelStar and Coleco were the ultimate gaming systems to own.

Cerise pink, electric blue and banana yellow have ever featured in your wardrobe or make-up collection.

Chevy Chase was really funny in those Vacation movies.

Conveyor belts regularly carried washing machines, deep-fat fryers and a cuddly toy.

Dungeons & Dragons was your favorite cartoon.

Four-square was THE playground game. And tetherball.

Guys: You remember when a guy piercing his ear was radical to the max, but did it anyhow.

If you ever said "I pity the fool".

In many of your childhood photos you are wearing something plaid.

Jelly bracelets & shoes!

Leg warmers and headbands alá Pat Benatar once looked really cool to you.

Never let them see you sweat.

Not that you'd do it personally, but body piercing captivates your attention

Once, while spending hours in the arcade, you actually lined up quarters on the top panel of the game -- to "reserve" your spot.

One word: Izod.

Ooh, you could crush a Grape!

Parachuting Action man was your favorite toy.

Partying "like it's 1999" seemed SO far away.

Pierce Brosnan will always be Remington Steele, not James Bond.

Poltergeist freaked you out.

Punks actually "shocked" people.

Schoolhouse Rock played a HUGE part in how you actually learned the English language. No, but the Electric Company did.

Shiny grey flecked suits.

Spend a majority of your time in your late 20s & early 30s obsessing over how much better things were "back then".

The Brady Bunch movie brought back cool memories

The Dark Crystal is still one of your favorite movies.

The first time you ever kissed someone at a dance fell during "Crazy for You" by Madonna

The phrase "Where's the beef?" still doubles you over with laughter

The TV movie "The Day After" still scares the heck out of you.

There were at least three people in your school that voluntarily went by the names of "Skip" "Buffy" "Muffy" or "Dexter."

You thought eating Reese's Pieces would attract your own Alien.

There were days that the homework just had to wait until the ABC Afterschool Special was over.

This rings a bell: "and my name, is Charlie. They work for me."

U2 is too "popular" and "mainstream" for you now.

When someone mentions two consecutive days of the week, the Happy Days theme is stuck in your head for hours on end.

While in high school, you and all your friends discussed elaborate plans to get together again at the end of the century and play "1999" by Prince over and over again.

Words: "Atari" "IntelliVision" and "Coleco". Sound familiar?

You actually know who Rick Springfield is.

You actually saw Ted Danson as the Mack Daddy he played "Sam" to be.

You actually spent countless hours trying to perfect the care-bear stare.

You actually thought "Dirty Dancing" was a REALLY good movie.

You always wondered why Tootie always wore those skates.

You are still baffled by the "day glo" clothing trend.

You believed that "By the power of Greyskull, you HAD the power!"

You can name at least half of the members of the elite "Brat Pack."

You can remember watching Full House and Saved by the Bell for endless hours.

You can remember what Quatro tasted like.

You can sing the McDonald's Big Mac Filet-o-fish, quarter pounder, French Fry song while jump roping.

You can still sing the rap to "Fresh Prince of Belair".

You can, right now, hum to yourself the theme to 'Inspector Gadget'"Go Gadget go! (da da dada da dadadada)"

You can't remember a time when "going out for coffee" DIDN'T involve 49,000 selections to choose from.

You can't remember a time when "hitting the outlet stores" didn't mean going to an electrical warehouse

You can't remember when the word "networking" didn't have a computer connotation to it as well

You carried a big colored comb in your back pocket.

You carried your lunch to school in a Gremlins or an ET lunchbox. I think it was Tron, actually.

You chewed Dr. Pepper bubble gum.

You could break dance, or wish you could.

You could go through a case of Aqua Net hairspray in a week.

You could have got away with it if it hadn't been for those meddling kids.

You cried at Zammo's funeral.

You ever did the top toggle of your coat up around your neck without having your arms in the sleeves, and knew you looked like a super-hero.

You ever dressed to emulate a person you saw in either a Duran Duran, Madonna, or Cyndi Lauper video.

You ever had more than 10 sweets in a 10p mix-up.

You ever owned a pair of "Pop-Wheels"—that handy little combination of shoe and roller skate that lasted about a year on the open market.

You ever owned a thin, black leather tie (and were proud of it), or worse it was patterned like a piano.

You ever owned one of those embarrassing crimping irons.

You ever said "It's my ball, and if I can't be Kevin Keegan I'm going home!"

You ever uttered the word "Radical!"

You ever wanted to be gagged with a spoon. 80's. In California. You do the math.

You ever wore fluorescent—neon if you will—clothing...

You fell out with friends during heated arguments about the relative merits of Matt & Luke.

You fell victim to 80's fashion: big hair, crimped, combed over to the side, and you wore spandex pants.

You freaked out a little when you realized you fall into the "26-50" category of most surveys.

You got a Little Professor calculator for Christmas.

You had a crush on Bo Derek.

You had a crush on Jon Bon Jovi, or know someone who did.

You had a crush on one of the Corey's (Haim or Feldman).

You had a crush on one of the New Kids on the Block members.

You had a poster of Rob Lowe, Kirk Cameron, Michael J. Fox or Don Johnson on your wall.

You had a Swatch Watch with the Swatch Guard.

You had MALL Hair.

You had slouch socks, and puff painted your own shirt at least once.

You had to come in the house when the street lights came on.

You HAD to have your MTV.

You had to stay after class to scrub your desk because your silver Outliner pen leaked through.

You had top-of-the-line Commodore 64s in your jr. high computer lab

You had Wonder Woman or Superman underoos.

You have a tendency to turn the collar up on your Polo shirts.

You have ever called 867-5309.

You have ever danced (or even worse cried) to Kylie & Jason.

You have ever po-goed or space-hopped.

You have ever pondered why Smurfette was the ONLY female Smurf.

You have heard of "Garbage Pail Kids" (and perhaps still have a collection of them). Had quite the collection until I went away to college and the parents tossed them.

You have seen at least 10 episodes of Fraggle Rock.

You have worn a Banana Clip, or knew someone who did.

You held the top score on Pac-Man.

You hid out behind the gym during recess to read "Are you there God, it’s me Margaret?" with your friends.

You hold a special place in your heart for "Back to the Future."

You inserted the word "like" into, like, every sentence.

You jammed to the Miami Vice theme and thought Jan Hammer was cool.

You knew "The Artist" when he was humbly called "Prince."

You knew all the words to Billy Joel's "We Didn't Start the Fire", but it really didn't hold any meaning for you until about the third verse

You knew what Willis was "talkin' 'bout."

You knew who Max's boss Jonathan Hart was.

You know all of the words to at least one of the Schoolhouse Rock songs.

You know all the words to "Ice Ice Baby".

You know how (or wanted to be able) to Moonwalk!

You know how to use a rotary phone.

You know that another name for a keyboard is a "Synthesizer."

You know the profound meaning of "Wax on, Wax off."

You know what "Push Up" ice cream is.

You know what "sike" and "not!" mean.

You know what a "burnout" is.

You know what a "Whammee" is..

You know what a Doozer is.

You know what leg warmers are and probably had a pair.

You know what movie the phrase, "Number 5 is alive!" is from.

You know where to go if you "wanna go where everybody knows your name."

You know who Derek Wildstar, Mark Venture, Captain Avatar, Nova and Desslock are.

You know who Fat Albert is.

You know who He-Man and She-Ra are.

You know who Max Headroom is.

You know who Mr. T is.

You know who played Uncle Ned, Elyse’s brother, on Family Ties.

You know who Spuds McKenzie, The Noid, and Joe Isuzu are.

You know who Tina Yothers is.

You know, by heart, the words to any "Weird" Al Yankovic song. Several, in fact.

You layered your multi-colored slouch socks, and added suspenders to make your outfit complete.

You like the guy who played Freddy Kruger better as Willie on "V".

You made Star Wars shrinky dinks in your oven.

You never questioned why the A-Team were always imprisoned in places that had sufficient tools to build an armored tank.

You own any cassettes or records.

You owned a *real* Rubik's cube.

You owned a doll with 'Xavier Roberts' signed on it's butt.

You owned a Jordache anything, or you remember when Jordache jeans were cool.

You owned a T-shirt that said, "I shot J. R. " or know someone who did.

You owned at least one Choose Your Own Adventure book.

You owned, or wanted a "Frankie says..." T-shirt.

You owned/operated a 'Trapper Keeper'

You played with Lego’s when they were just blocks of various sizes, not any of the special little parts.

You remember "Friday Night Videos" before the days of MTV.

You remember and/or owned any of the Care Bear glass collections from Pizza Hut.

You remember any or all of the following: Echo & the Bunnymen, Cutting Crew, Scritti Politti, or Orchestral Maneuvers in the Dark.

You remember Dirk Benedict as Starbuck long before he played Face.

You remember exactly where you were when you heard the space shuttle had exploded.

You remember Look In magazine, and when it was only 20p

You remember Michael Jackson when he was still black.

You remember the aerobie scare.

You remember the days that hooking your computer into your TV wasn't an expensive option that required gadgets - it was the ONLY WAY to use your computer!

you remember the days when "safe sex" meant "my parents are gone for the weekend"

You remember the episode of Good Times when Flo broke down after James' funeral.

you remember the first time "Space: Above and Beyond" aired it was called "Battlestar Galactica"

You remember the original version of Windows: Macintosh. (REMEMBER?!)

You remember when ATARI was a state of the art video game system.

You remember when Betamax was at the cutting edge of technology.

You remember when cellular phones weighed 15 lbs. and had to be carried over your shoulder.

You remember when Deborah Gibson was "Debbie" Gibson.

You remember when film critics raved that no movie could ever possibly get better special effects than those in the movie TRON.

You remember when Jordache jeans with a flat-handle comb in the back pocket was cool.

You remember when Keith Chegwin & Maggie Philbin were the hottest romantic couple.

You remember when Madonna was just hitting the scene.

You remember when McDonald’s served their burgers in styrofoam boxes.

You remember when Molly Ringwald was on Facts of Life.

You remember when music that was labeled "alternative" really was

You remember when Ricky Martin was a member of Menudo.

You remember when Saturday Night Live was funny.

You remember when the A-Ha video was the pinnacle of modern technology, and you can still sing all the words.

You remember when you could buy half cans of soda.

You remember with pain the sad day when the Green Machine hit the streets and made your old big wheel quite obsolete.

You rolled the sleeves of your suit jacket up

You sat on your back porch, playing with your "My Little Pony" , "Rainbow Brite" , and "Strawberry Shortcake" dolls

You skipped school on the day Luke and Laura got married on General Hospital.

You started a SLAM book or wrote in one.

You still know the Big Mac song. "Two all beef patties, special sauce…"

You still love to play Pong!

You think there should be a Kids Incorporated original cast reunion.

You thought "Weird Science" was a masterpiece. Well, at least a very entertaining film. And I see the "other guy", Ilan Mitchell-Smith, about once a year. He's now a medieval English lit prof.

You thought being a latch key kid was completely normal.

You thought Molly Ringwald was REALLY cool.

You thought that Transformers were more than meets the eye.

You thought UTFOs "Roxanne, Roxanne" song was the bomb!

You totally LOVED Barbie's cooler, punkier counterpart, "Jem" and her "Rockers"

You tried a can of clear Pepsi but hated it like everyone else did.

You tried to convince your Dad to fit a strip of red lights on the front of his Capri so it looked like KITT.

You tried to set up a "Famous Five" or "Secret Seven" gang with your school friends.

You used to hold in your head the thought that all those gold chains on Mr. T actually looked kinda cool and the thought that Mr. T made millions seemed rational to you at the time.

You used to own a Snoopy Sno Cone Machine.

You wanted to be a Goonie.

You wanted to be either Nancy Drew or the Hardy Boys.

You wanted to be on Star Search.

You wanted to be The Hulk for Halloween.

You wanted to communicate with Synergy, or you wanted green hair like that lead singer of the Misfits.

You wanted to dress like the Hulk or She-Ra at Halloween.

You wanted to have an alien like Alf living in your house.

you watched HR Puffenstuff as a child, but now that you're older, you really understand that it would have been much betterhad you known about drugs at the time

You watched Mary Lou Retton win the gold.

You watched Purple Rain over and over again.

You went to school with Pogo Patterson, Gripper Stebson, and Ro-land.

You were a "wanna be". Madonna, Duran Duran, Michael Jackson, Cyndi Lauper, Boy George, etc.

You were afraid of the Sleestacks on Land of The Lost.

you were convinced for years that Batman was a mildly overweight man with a moderate beer belly who wore his under wearoutside of his clothes and talked strangely

You were disappointed when an episode of 3-2-1 Contact didn’t include a Bloodhound Gang segment. EXTREMELY!! I think you could call it pissed off!

You were in Cub Scouts or Girl Scouts but now you have no idea what all the badges you got were for.

You were led to believe that in the year 2000 we'd all be living on the moon.

You were only cool if you hung out at the Roller Rink and actually knew how to skate.

You were sad when the "Where's the Beef" lady died.

you were shocked and horrified at the Challenger explosion (which you were probably watching in school at the time), and yet, when someone mentions the name "JFK", the first thing you think of is "Oliver Stone".

You were shocked by the controversial plot lines in Degrassi Junior High.

You wondered why you and your mates never encountered diamond thieves whilst out on your BMXs.

You wondered why your walkie-talkie didn't have the same range as those in the Red Hand Gang.

You wore 3-8 different colored socks in layers and thought that the more you could wear the cooler you were.

You wore a banana clip or one of those slap on wrist bands at some point during your youth.

You wore a feather roach clip in your hair from the local carnival because you didn’t know what it really was.

You wore biker shorts underneath a short skirt and felt stylish, or know someone who did.

You wore French rolls on the bottom of your splatter painted jeans.

You wore loafers with everything, and you put the laces in those little rolls.

You wore the little bootie socks with the colored balls on the back.

You wore tights under shorts and felt stylish.

You wrote your boyfriends name on the side of your canvas Keds.

You yearned to be a member of The Babysitters Club, and tried to start a club of your own.

You, yes you, sat down and memorized the entire lyric sheet to "It's the end of the world as we know it"

Your all time favorite movie was Footloose and you actually thought that Kevin Bacon was HOT in it!!!

Your best friend had a soda stream at home and you were jealous

Your best party dress was either a ra-ra or puff-ball skirt.

Your dream car was either: the A-team van, KITT or The General Lee.

Your first computer was a Commodore 64 or an Atari 800.

Your first date took you to the roller rink and you held hands for "Couples Only" skate.

Your first Walkman weighed about as much as a brick.

Your hair defied gravity.

Your hair, at some point in time in the 80's, became something which can only be described by the phrase "I was experimenting."

Your lunch times were spent perfecting swan dives and backspins.

Your name is Jennifer or Jason.

You're doing absolutely nothing with anything pertaining to your major degree.

Your parents wanted you to attend medical school, but you decided it was pointless since Quincy got all the babes, anyway.

You're starting to believe that maybe 30 isn't so old after all, and it's those people over 40 you have to look out for.

You're starting to dread your 30th birthday, and have even begun going into denial about its possibility.

You're starting to get that "why aren't you married yet" spiel, not just from parents, but now from friends.

You're starting to view getting carded to buy alcohol as a GOOD thing, and you're ready to marry the next person who cards you when you want to buy cigarettes.

You're still occasionally suffering flashbacks from your 21st birthday party.

You've ever conversationally used the phrase "Jane, you ignorant slut".

You've ever said "I'm a vegetarian" and immediately had someone call you a hypocrite by saying "Nice leather jacket you have there...and gee, is that a suede bag...those shoes leather, too?"

You've ever shopped at a Banana Republic or Benetton, but not in the last five years, okay?

You've recently horrified yourself by using any one of the following phrases: - "When I was younger" - "When I was your age" - "You know, back when..." - "Because I SAID so, that's why" - "What the HELL is this noise on the radio?" - "Just can't (fill in the blank) like I used to"